


The Orphan

by notgeorgelucas



Series: Despicable Me stories [1]
Category: Despicable Me (Movies)
Genre: Gen, cats man, mew!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:55:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27921118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notgeorgelucas/pseuds/notgeorgelucas
Summary: Agnes finds a new member of the family...the trick is not letting Gru find out about it!
Relationships: Felonius Gru/Lucy Wilde
Series: Despicable Me stories [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2044558
Kudos: 3





	The Orphan

“Gah! Did you have to do that, Edith?” Margo glanced down at her now-soaked jeans, socks and shoes. “What is it with you and puddles?” She tightened her grip on the umbrella shielding Agnes and herself from the downpour.

“Hey, I like puddles.” Edith studied the sidewalk ahead and found a promising candidate. “They’re fun,” she added as she touched down with a resounding splash. _Ticking you off is just a bonus_ , she added silently. “Why do we have to walk home from school with you, anyway, instead of Gru or Lucy picking us up?”

“Because they’re working on a case, and they asked me to do it,” Margo replied. “If you want to get soaked to the skin instead of staying dry under an umbrella, be my guest.” She glanced down at her youngest sister, who was looking rather thoughtful. “You okay?”

“It’s going to be weird, going home and Kyle not being there,” Agnes said quietly.

“I know,” Margo nodded. “But like Gru said, he’d lived a long, happy life and it was peaceful.” _For him, anyway. For the rest of us…_

Edith shook her head. “Are dogs supposed to dissolve like that when they die?”

“I don’t…” Margo suddenly realized she was short one little sister. “Agnes?”

“Over here!” She was crouched down by a rusted, smelly dumpster. “She needs help!”

“Help? Margo reluctantly handed the umbrella to Edith and knelt down. A forlorn pair of golden eyes looked up at her. “Is that…?”

“It’s a kitten!” Agnes declared. “She’s cold and wet and all alone and we’re going to take her home! Come on, kitty!” She reached in before her sister could stop her and scooped up the creature. “It’s okay, kitty! I’ve got you now!”

“Agnes! Wait—you shouldn’t just pick her up like that!”

“We’re taking her home.” Agnes said firmly. Nearby, Edith grinned. This was going to be fun.

“Agnes, I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Margo stammered. “I mean, that cat might have diseases, and right now Gru isn’t in a real good mood—I don’t know how he’ll react to…”

“SHE’S AN ORPHAN.”

Margo stood stone still, mouth slightly agape and at a complete loss for words. Edith leaned over her shoulder and chuckled. “You lose.” She motioned for Agnes to join her under the umbrella. “C’mon, let’s go home.”

****

A warm, dry shelter had worked wonders for the kitten. She—Margo had checked—was happily pouncing on shoelaces, dolls, evil tails, and anything else she could find. Agnes was on the floor playing with her, oblivious to her big sister’s concerns. “C’mere, kitty! That’s it! Isn’t she pretty, Edith?”

“Yeah. And you gotta admit, a black cat would fit in perfectly here. Wouldn’t you say, Margo?” Edith grinned evilly at Margo, who was desperately trying to work out a solution to the situation that didn’t involve telling Gru or Lucy about the new resident.

“Okay,” she finally declared. “The kitten can stay tonight. We’ll keep her in here with the door closed, and we can sneak some water and dinner in when Gru and Lucy aren’t looking. But **tomorrow** ,” she added in her best no-nonsense voice, “we are taking her to the local shelter. They’ll check her over and make sure she finds a good home.”

“Oh yeah, right, sure,” Edith nodded with an eyeroll for emphasis. “Good plan,” she added with a snort.

“You’re not helping,” Margo hissed.

“Glad you noticed.”

“At any rate,” Margo continued briskly, “we have two problems—one, the kitten is going to need somewhere to potty, and more importantly, we have to make sure none of the minions see her.”

“Why not?” Agnes demanded. “They love cute animals, don’t they, kitten?” She dangled a string in front of the cat and laughed as it launched an immediate attack.

“Yeah, but the first thing they’ll do is tell Gru.” Margo pointed out. “And I really don’t want to upset him any further right now.” She consulted her phone. “According to this, we can put shredded newspaper in a box and that’ll work just fine for now.”

“What’s a newspaper?” Agnes asked innocently.

“It’s a…” Margo began, then sighed and rolled her eyes. “Very funny.” She turned toward a smirking Edith. “Use those ninja abilities you’re so proud of to get a box and an old newspaper. Agnes, you secure the kitten while I slip out and get her some water and some chicken or fish from the fridge. And whatever we do…Gru and Lucy do NOT find out about this, okay?”

“Hey, do we look dumb?” Edith demanded. “Trust me, they won’t suspect a thing.”

*****

“Gru…”

He leaned back in his dinner chair. “Yes, yes. They’re definitely up to something.”

Lucy sighed. “Angelic behavior the entire meal, topped by each of them being sure to take their plates into the kitchen themselves—and each plate had some leftover chicken on it, not much but a little—and hands in pockets as they went back upstairs ‘to finish their homework’. Did they really think we wouldn’t notice?”

“Of course not,” Gru said. “After all, we’re just adults. How could we possibly suspect them of anything?” He rolled his eyes. “Whatever it is, Lucy, we’ll find out about it before too long. Let them have their way for now and let’s see what happens next.”

*****

“That’s it! Get the string, kitty! Get it!” Agnes laughed as the kitten lunged for the tattered shoestring over and over. “You’re so fast! Get it!”

Margo smiled sadly as she watched her little sister play. “Agnes,” she said gently. “You know that we’re going to have to take her to the shelter tomorrow. You shouldn’t get too…attached.”

“I know. I wish we could keep her. She’s so much fun…”

“Heads up,” Edith said by the bedroom door. “They’re coming.”

Margo leaped up from her desk chair and scooped up the kitten. “Okay, kitty, into the closet,” she said quietly. The kitten protested to no avail as she quickly shut the door and jumped into bed. Her sisters had done likewise after scouring the room for telltale signs of feline occupancy.

“Hello, girls.” Gru walked into the room, followed by Lucy. “Everyone ready for bed?”

“Sure thing,” Margo nodded, her eyes apparently focused on her cell phone—though Lucy noted that she was holding it upside down. For her part Edith shrugged and leaned back against her pillow, the better to hide a few cat toys that had been lying on the floor a moment prior. Agnes smiled extra-brightly and hoped extra-hard that no one noticed the little black paw poking out from the bottom of the closet door every few seconds.

“Everything okay?” Lucy asked, tucking her in.

“Sure, Mom!” Agnes declared loudly…the better to mask the “mew” of protest coming from the closet.

“Well, good night, girls.” Gru turned out the lights, then joined Lucy at the door. “Sweet dreams.”

“Phew,” Margo exclaimed after she was sure they’d left.

“Here you go, kitten!” Agnes whispered as she liberated the kitten from the closet. “You can sleep with me tonight!”

“Is that really a good idea…” Margo whispered.

“Will you relax?” Edith hissed. “What did I tell you? Easy peasy—they never suspected a thing!”

*****

Gru and Lucy exchanged knowing looks. “Closet?”

“Closet,” she nodded.

“Well, whatever it is, it can keep until morning,” Gru said with a wave of his hands.

“So long as it’s not like that time Edith said she was bringing a python home…” Lucy said worriedly. “I thought she meant a ball python, not…”

“Hey, we got it to cough Dave back up; no harm no foul,” Gru shrugged. “Let’s go to bed.”

*****

“Margo…psst! Margo! You gotta wake up!” Someone shook her shoulder hard until she slowly opened her eyes. The blur appeared to be Edith. “The kitten’s gone!”

“What?” Margo said groggily. “Whattya mean? She was in here all night--how can she be gone?”

“Somebody got up to use the bathroom last night,” the yellow blur pointed out. “Left the door open.”

“’Somebody’ nothing!” accused the smaller dark-haired blur from nearby. “It was you, and now the kitty is loose in the house! What if the minions find her? Or Gru?”

“Calm down,” Margo ordered, patting around her bedside table for her glasses. “Okay, look,” she added a moment later. “If you listen, you can hear Gru snoring, so that gives us some time. We slip out and find her, then bring her back in here. There can’t be that many places she could be hiding.”

“You wanna bet?” Edith groaned. “It’s a kitten. They specialize in squeezing into small spaces.”

“Move over.” Margo hopped out of bed and put on her slippers. “Let’s go find her.”

*****

Lucy propped herself up on an elbow and regarded her husband carefully. “Gru?”

“Hmmm?”

“Either you grew a big tuft of hair overnight, or something is sitting on top of your head.”

“What…?” Gru’s eyes snapped open and his hand reached up to pat around. “What is that?”

“mew!” declared the kitten before resuming its careful washing of Gru’s scalp.

“Well, I think we know what the girls were up to last night,” Lucy smiled. “Hello there, little one.” She reached over and plucked the kitten off Gru’s head. “Well, aren’t you a sweetie? Yes you are!”

“Thank you,” Gru muttered as he slowly sat up. “That tongue on my head felt very odd.”

“Odd good or odd bad? Because, I mean, if it was odd good I could always…”

“Odd weird.” Gru’s eyes narrowed. “Do you hear something in the hallway?”

“Hmmm.” Lucy could just make out desperately quiet whispers of “here kitty!”, “I’ve got tuna for you!”, “you do not, Edith, don’t lie to her!” and “will you two keep it down before they wake up and hear you?” She couldn’t help but chuckle while stroking the kitten’s soft black fur and getting a long, contented purr in response.

“Uh-huh.” Gru sighed and cleared his throat. “Girls?” he called. “Is everything all right?”

“Oh…uh, yeah, Gru!” Margo squeaked. “Everything’s fine, really! We just…uh…were looking for something that Agnes lost, don’t worry about it!”

“Margo,” Lucy grinned. “That ‘something’ wouldn’t happen to be a small black kitten, would it?”

The door flew open; Agnes came rushing in. “Kitty! I knew you’d be safe! Isn’t she wonderful, Lucy?”

“She certainly is, Agnes. And very friendly. I found her on top of Gru’s head this morning.” Lucy handed the kitten to her. “You know, you could have told us about her last night.”

“I know,” Margo said miserably. “I just thought, you know, after Kyle and all…”

“I found her yesterday coming home from school!” Agnes burst out. “She was cold and wet and all alone and Margo was going to leave her there but I wouldn’t let her because SHE’S AN ORPHAN!”

“Eep,” said Margo.

“Margo was going to make us take her to the Humane Society today and give her up,” Edith helpfully added.

“Thanks loads,” Margo muttered.

“Anytime.”

“Well, in all fairness Margo was being very responsible,” Gru pointed out. “This little one might be sick, though she certainly doesn’t act like it. But at the very least she should be taken to the vet’s office.”

“That’s what I thought,” Margo blurted out. “I was worried because…” Gru held up a hand, stopping her in mid-sentence.

“You should have asked permission first, though.” His daughters hung their heads in shame. “That being said,” he continued with a smile, “if Lucy doesn’t object, I think we could look into adopting her. She seems to be right at home, don’t you think?”

“She certainly liked your head,” Lucy nodded. “But,” she continued, holding the kitten up for a better look, “she’s going to need a name.”

“I’ve got one!” Agnes said excitedly. “Her name is going to be Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way!”

“Oh my,” Lucy blinked. “That’s quite a name.”

“I know,” Agnes beamed. “I saw it in a story Margo had on her computer.”

“Eep,” said Margo yet again.

“Why don’t we just go with ‘Ebony’?” Gru suggested. “It’s easier to remember. Now, the three of you go on so we can get dressed.” He shooed them out the door, then turned to find one final intruder. “Don’t you want to go with them?” he asked the kitten.

“mew!”

“All right, fine,” Gru said, rolling his eyes. “Welcome to the family, little one.”

“I think she’ll fit in just fine,” Lucy smiled. “Won’t you, Ebony?”

“mew!”

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this one in the back of my head for awhile, but it was the arrival of our latest kitten that kicked me into 'write' mode. Her name is Suki, and she's a tiny bundle of tortitude.
> 
> https://notgeorgelucas.tumblr.com/post/634890868635074560/sooctober-sucked-for-a-number-of-reasons-but
> 
> My wife suggested the name, which to my everlasting shame I did not immediately recognize. To my sorrow I know more now that I'd ever want to know...


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